I am at a Loss to Love
There are people in our lives that make us SO happy to love. We find it easy and even freeing to love them and be loved by them. On the other end, there are those in our lives that we actually feel opposed to loving. Those are the people we can find ourselves at a loss to love and find it truly difficult to love. For those people in the second category, I recently asked God why He allows them to remain in my life. Why do I feel so opposed to their presence but also opposed to the idea of letting them go? Today’s blog post will be looking at loving those in our lives that aren’t abusive or necessarily unhealthy relationships, but a relationship with someone we’re finding it difficult to love.
The Love I Want
I’ve been incredibly blessed with being surrounded by people I understand and find it easy to love. People who love coffee dates, thrift shopping, adore Jesus and seem to love me. It’s never been hard to find love for them because what’s not to love about being loved and that warm fuzzy feeling you get when posting pictures of your hangouts with a #LoveThem. But what about those who don’t make you feel #AllWarmAndFuzzy all the time. What about the people that are in your life that make you cry, feel nervous knots in your stomach, and make you feel helpless in mustering up love for them. Is it okay to just shed off relationships that aren’t unhealthy, but feel like a burden, an added inconvenience, and a lot of work? Love isn’t supposed to be uncomfortable, right? We’re free to choose to love someone today and loose feelings and leave tomorrow. The love I’ve been predominantly seeking for the past 23 years had been one that is self-serving and entirely about happiness. A love that makes me feel enjoyed, cared for, appreciated, and safe.
The Love HE GAVE
The worldly definition of love can be found on Google “noun: an intense feeling of deep affection.”, but the bible’s definition of love can be found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is one of patience towards a world riddled with sin.
Love is kindness even when it’s hard.
Love is unenvious for it is pure and has nothing to envy.
Love is unboasting for it is from the Lord and of ourselves.
Love is not proud for it acknowledges it is not our own achievements but God’s.
Love is not rude even when someone is seemingly deserving of a short response.
Love is not self-seeking though the world says it should be.
Love is slow to anger and keeps no record of wrongs.
Love withstands the times when it’s uncomfortable.
Love is able to assume the good in others, holds out hope, and endures through suffering.
THAT is the love our Father offers to us. With such an example of love, our ideal idea of love is shattered in a million shameful pieces before the throne of grace.
The Love We Can’t Give
You can imagine someone in your head right now who the world would give you complete permission to drop. God wants us to drop them, but the “them” isn’t the person but the conditions we put them. Drop the act that this world is about us. Drop the idea that love is something to always be taking until it’s too hard so you tap out. NO! That’s not the love God extends to us through Jesus God the Son. If He did, we would all be in such deep trouble. Instead, He gives us His UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. To be completely honest I hate unconditional love. It’s so hard. It stops me every single time I try to explain my way out of loving someone. “God they did this”, or “God they said that”. It so ingrained to put conditions on the love we extend to others.
The Love He Can Give
We need to give up. Give up and remind ourselves that GOD IS LOVE and we are not. We need to ask God to love that person through us, using the Holy Spirit within us. Knowing that if we don’t, we WILL miss out on BIG things.
I’ve recently been struggling with wanting to just give up on people. When I am not sure why they are in my life and feeling incredibly confused as to what my role in the friendship is. When I am unhappy and just can’t see a good reason to stay friends. I was going to give up and call it quits on a friend recently, but as I was writing my “peace out, friend” message I couldn’t send it. It felt so wrong. What would happen after I called it quits? A door would be shut and my heart wasn’t telling me it was right. I told myself how much easier it would be to just give up. I felt like I would have been instantly happier, but an amazing opportunity for God to do powerful things through His love through me would have been taken away.
As I sat with the message opened on my laptop I cried out to God. I told Him all the things He already knew, but they were things I needed to accept. I honestly had no idea how to even begin loving them. I admitted this, and God reminded me that He didn’t want me to love them with my human, halfhearted selfish love. So often in our lives, the answer He gives is Let Go and Let God, but with such simplicity comes such profound humbling of one’s self and obedience to His word. I deleted the message. In this relationship, I need to Let Go and Let God. This letting go is a process that will have to be recommitted again and again, but I am looking forward to this new door. One that isn’t easy but is going to be incredible.
A Face Only a Maker Could Love
I pray for you and for that person on your mind that seems impossible to love in your life. I pray you would be inspired and reminded to Let Go and Let God love that person using you. He can do AMAZING things if you’ll allow Him to enter that relationship and love that person as only their Maker can. We need to realize that we all sometimes act like a creation only a Creator could love.